| am I stuck in a circle with no way out? that's what it feels like. I so badly want to succed in life, and just be happy. I want to live abd survie on my own. school has never been better. I love night school. :) ahh halloweens close. its almost hodie season. terry is cute. I hppe we grown inti something good. eventually. yap. :) |
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| am I stuck in a circle with no way out? that's what it feels like. I so badly want to succed in life, and just be happy. I want to live abd survie on my own. school has never been better. I love night school. :) ahh halloweens close. its almost hodie season. terry is cute. I hppe we grown inti something good. eventually. yap. :) |
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| For some reason I don't think I can ever truely be happy in life. It seems that everytime I find someone that loves and cares about me I push them away. I know I do it becuase honestly, I don't want to get hurt. And that scares me so much. I don't ask for a lot out of life. Really the only things I want is to be happy, and stay happy. Is that too much to ask for? All my relationships with anyone have failed. And I know I'm not the perfect person but believe me I fucking try.
I feel like my outside is 40yrs old, and my inside is still a child waiting to grow up. Imagine haveing to be forced to grow up at the age of 6??? Cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, laundry, taking care of my little brother as if I was his mother. Most people I know at the age of 6 were playing with there friends, taking naps, and enjoying life. I never got to do that. And I know I never will. So by the age of 13 I felt as if I didn't need anyone else. I don't need to be loved. I can fucking survie and do shit on my own. And really deep down, I do need someone, I can't do things on my own. I just need help sometimes. But I don't want to seam weak. To me that's my worse fear people will think I'm weak, and I really don't want that becuase I've ben strong and made it this far.
I so badly want to finish high school and live my life at the age I really am. I need a ciggarette. |
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| God dam.
I need help
& lots of it.
& fast. =/ |
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MissxBizzybone 
